Rape Culture

⌈Trigger-Warning for victims of sexual assault/rape/non-consensual⌋

I don’t know a single woman who wasn’t sexually harassed, yet. Not a single one who did not get catcalled. Not one who doesn’t feel the need to say more than “no” to sex, because a sick stomach is more of an excuse than simply not wanting to have intercourse.

A guy once said “Female privilege is getting to claim a headache to avoid sex” 

Female oppression is having to claim physical illness to avoid sex because men won’t take a simple “no” for an answer. Female oppression is men being so entitled that they think being denied sex is oppressive.

I was 12 when I got catcalled for the first time in my life. It was scary. But it happens to everybody, right? It’s normal. And on top of that I should be happy about it because we all want attention, we all like compliments! But I was 12. It made me feel unsafe. Because I could not go anywhere without having someone commenting on my clothes, my body, my face… Men asked me to smile, while tears were leering behind the backs of my eyes. Men told me how sexy I am. On top of that, I experienced heavy gender dysphoria not knowing what was going on with me, my dad had cancer, I got bullied in school. I didn’t have any friends. I purged daily and cut my wrists. And those men “complimented” me. Those men asked me to smile. But I was the one being rude. Because I didn’t appreciate what they did. Right? That’s what people keep telling me, especially my sisters boyfriend, a guy who thinks he knows people, who thinks that it’s utterly ridiculous how offended I am! A biological man. A cis-man. Someone who does not know how it’s like to be harassed every time they go out.

It’s degradation. Not a blessing. Not an applause. You dehumanize.

I’m 20 now and over the years it got even worse. They follow me on the street, even into the train/bus. They look at me with lusty eyes, licking their lips after they ask me to have sex with them. After they say “Let’s fuck that tight pussy of yours”. If you think that it should be because of the way I dress; first of all, I’m a transman. Second of all, are you trying to tell me that a 12 year old triggers men to sexual harass? You’re sexualizing a child right now, I hope you’re aware of that. Third of all, The way women dress does not make them more or less of a person. The way women dress does not entitle anyone to harass them. Don’t blame the victim. There are so many incredibly wrong things happening in our society, and blaming the victims of sexual assault and rape is not the way to stop it!

The cause of rape are rapists 

I can not tell you how many times I got the “Boys will be boys” when I complain about what is happening not only to me but to so many others on a regular basis.

“The argument that ‘boys will be boys’ actually carries the profoundly anti-male implication that we should expect bad behavior from boys and men. The assumption is that they are somehow not capable of acting appropriately, or treating girls and women with respect” — Jackson Katz

Another reason why we all need Feminism. Women aren’t the only ones suffering because of misogyny. Everything female is denied for men. Feelings are too feminine, makeup, pink, and apparently also respectful behavior. But let’s get back to rape-culture, which isn’t a thing according to many. Where does it start? Why do I call sexual harassment/assault rape-culture? Because that’s were it starts. 

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It all starts with a joke about rape, the sexualization of another person. Sexism. Victim blaming. It goes further, when you start sending picture of your genitals (I’ve got plenty of those + the request for nudes followed by heavy insults when I denied them everything). Or grope someone because you think that’s somehow OK to do. A step by step guide to rape. It’s systematic. 

When I was 14, I was able to escape from being raped. years later, and I still feel dirty, gross… Because I’m constantly reminded that to those men, I’m another object, another thing. They don’t see the man I am. In their eyes, I need to be fucked the right way to be normal again. 

No means no.

♠Sylveran♠

About, Prevention & After Sexual Assault by rainn.org

Analysis of the Brock-Turner-case: rape, consent, objectification (2016) by Kellie Dietrich

It’s Either Consensual or It’s Rape (2017) by Rae

How To Pick up Girls – The Old Boys Club Way (2017) by Sally

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