I thought about putting a Trigger Warning on here, but I honestly refuse to. People need to know the truth and I certainly don’t care if it hurts them, because the pain they inflict on others is worse.
I now it’s not easy to change the pronouns (and name) you’ve been using, especially when it’s about your own child or your friend. But misgendering them is not the solution. Here’s why*:
1. I know you better than you know yourself
Just because it’s your child or your best friend doesn’t mean you know them better. Just because they’ve been expressing a different gender for many years doesn’t mean that they’ve felt good doing it. It’s called denial, hiding, being absolutely terrified how you might react when they come out.
2. I would rather hurt you repeatedly than change the way I speak about you
Yes, you do hurt us. Every “she” for a guy and “he” for a woman is a stab right into the heart. You love us? Then why do you keep doing the same thing over and over again?
3. Your sense of safety is not important to me
Speaking for myself, misgendering is like someone rips my clothes right off my body, humiliating me. It makes me feel unsafe, especially in public places.
4. I want to teach everyone around me to disrespect you
5. Offending you is fine if it makes me feel more comfortable
6. Being who you truly are is an inconvenience for me
7. I am not a friend or someone you can trust
Needless to say, misgendering someone is an extremely selfish act. Stop complaining about how hard it is to change what you’re used to. It’s not worth the pain you cause.
You don’t need to understand how it feels like to be transgender, because you won’t be able to and you should never claim to understand. All we want is respect. And if you’re not even able to do that much… Please go.
*I sadly don’t know who originally made a post (image) about it. But it’s still very important and I want this to be out there.