⌈may contain triggers for those who are repulsed by the names of genitals / may trigger those who experience transphobia/personal story below⌋
It’s what people will tell you when you come out, especially online, when they feel safe and sound with their anonymous status, not caring how their words may affect other people. And I always wondered how you could possibly be that kind of human, no matter how anonymous you are, it’s still your fault whatever happens, whatever your words caused other people to do. And I think many people tend to forget that or they simply don’t want to think about it. Why? Because it makes them feel guilty, and that’s no fun. But aside from those internet-trolls who literally think they’re being funny by messing with people using the worst possible methods, there are still those who are straight out honest. They mean what they write. And their words are rarely based on valid research. Science and biology is what they base on what they will tell you, and no, when it’s about those topics they do not know what they’re talking about at all. They learned that boys have XY-chromosomes and girls have XX-chromosomes. And whatever falls out of the ordinary means you’re “retarded” as they’d phrase it. I’m not trying to tell anyone that they’re uneducated, because that’s usually what people get taught in school. But the thing is if you want to discuss biology online, while you’re legit dehumanise others because they do not fit in your world, because you can’t grasp what or who they are with your mind, then you need more than “vagina=girl, penis=boy”. You need this:
You can be male because you were born female but you have 5-alphareductase deficiency so you grew a penis at age 12. You can be female because you have an X and Y chromosome but you’re insensitive to androgens, and so you have a female body. You can be female and have an X and Y chromosome but your Y chromosome is missing the SRY gene, and so you have a female body. You can be male and have two X chromosomes but one of you X’s HAS an SRY gene and so you have a male body. You can be male having two X chromosomes and one Y. You can be female having three X chromosomes. You can be female having only one X chromosome. – Where is your humanity?!
I am not a girl just because my body looks female. I do have XY-chromosomes, so when people try to invade my privacy, my personal life by saying “biologically you are female” – No. I am not. Biologically I am male. And even when a transman has XX-chromosomes or a transwoman XY-chromosomes doesn’t mean they’re not who they say they are.
A great text (and Video for those who do not want to read) is here: Chromosomes: cis expectations vs. trans reality
Those are just 2 links, if you do more research, you will find more. If you do not want to bother on educating yourself more on the topic, then do not participate in the conversation as all you are doing is spreading non-sense and false information that hurt people and can possibly put them in danger. Do not forget that we are a big target for violence and even murder.
Trust – She made me feel mental
I recently went to my old therapist, because my mom asked me to. My dad’s cancer is back and she was the one who helped me through it last time. But then she changed the topic.
She asked me if I’m sexual, to which I obviously said no. I do not identify as a sexual person. I didn’t know what she was trying to say, when she asked me about my childhood after that. “Did someone rape you?” and “Did your parents hug and cuddle you when you were little?” were questions that I didn’t expect. But I felt it coming. And it did. Twice. As a side note I have to mention her work with transgender people, she helps those who are struggling and need more support, aside from their therapist who helps them getting HRT and surgeries. It’s just what she does for over 20 years now, so of course you’d expect her to be understandable. So she told me that because I got sexually harassed I want to be a boy, for safety. And she told me a lot of women transitioning to men are the same. She misgendered not only me repeatedly, but talking about everybody else on that matter, too. Not to mention how uncomfortable that already made me. She went on telling me that the reason why I am not sexually attracted to anyone and do not want to have sex myself is because my dad did not hug me often enough in the past. “You’re lacking physical closeness. So you can’t be close to anyone like that” completely ignoring the fact that I’m a very touchy person when it comes to people I like platonically.
She made my entire identity – my gender and my sexuality – look like a mental illness that needs to be treated. I know her for 10 years now and never has she offended me like that. I do NOT know how so many transgender people praise her online for her support after I saw her true opinion about that matter. And she was extremely open about it, so I highly doubt she acts differently towards others. She is who she is and she doesn’t stop her opinion just because she knows you do not agree with her.
I lost the trust. The deepest trust I’ve ever felt towards a therapist vanished in just 60minutes and there is no way it can recover. Even if she apologises, even if she changes her mind after educating herself – she hurt me. She hurt my soul.
Stop transphobia. Stop Acephobia.