About

S olitary, my introvert personality

Y earn, my innermost desires

L imitless, because I often go beyond

V aliant, the way I approach life

E quality, because that’s important to me

R ational, the way I think

A narchist

N eedy, whenever I’m not the complete opposite. Theres no in-between.

Noir ⌈french, adj.⌋ black

T ranquil, for I am peaceful

E nthusiastic, for I am ambitious and cunning 

R ebellious, because the extraordinary is what I feel comfortable with

E ngrossed, in what I stand for

L oyal

We walk a lifetime
and lose our treasures.
But in the end our fortune
is measured by our fading scars.
Without our failure
there’s no redemption.
And so we take our chances
to fall and rise with equal grace.
God bless our mistakes.
Let our bubbles break.
Let us be thankful for our foolish pride.
The air between us
is filled with silence.
Our words were never spoken
from fear of our rejection.
So tell your stories
and ask your questions.
Regrets are made for losing.
Embrace our imperfections.

-Svavar Knutur, Humble Hymn

7 thoughts on “About”

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  2. Thank you for helping us understand a little better who you are. I have so many questions, all of which seem invasive, but I know nothing about what you feel. Hopefully I will be able to understand better as I read your blog. Certainly we are as our Creator made us and need not bow to anyone for who we are. BTW, when I was young I found Primrose Oil very helpful to the menstruation problems you talk about. I had to experiment on the dosage to find what worked for me but used it all the way through periods and menopause. Thanks again for being you and helping me to open my heart to you. hugs, pat

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      1. Thank you so much for allowing me the opportunity to know you better. I have no experience with people who feel that they are in the wrong body. I do not even know how to talk with you about it so that I do not make a “politically incorrect” comment. Teach me if I say something wrong.

        I want to know what it is like to be a man in a woman’s body. I have had gay friends but none have ever said they felt they were in the wrong body. When did you become aware of this? What is it like for you, for example, do you feel physically out of sorts like uncoordinated, unable to move or have the strength that men have? Does it make you dislike your body? Most of us in our culture feel a certain dislike of our bodies for we are constantly bombarded with absurd propaganda of what we are supposed to look like. Even at 73, I find myself comparing my grandmotherly body to other women and feel too this, too that, not enough, etc. I have let go of a lot of that but there are still wisps of that lack of acceptance. But to feel your entire body is not the right gender, I can not imagine what that is like. You mentioned binding your breasts. Do you do other things to appear more masculine? Do you consider surgery?

        You mentioned your relationship with your father, but not your mother. What is her feelings about this? Do you choose gay friends over heterosexual? You do not mention your age, but from your writing, I feel you are young. Have you been romantically involved with a woman or a man?

        How do you feel this sexual identify influences your life?

        What are examples of other people’s acceptance (or none acceptance) of you as a man in a woman’s body?

        I hope I have not been too bold for asking all these questions. I have wondered for years what it would be like to feel my soul was in the wrong body but never had the opportunity to talk with anyone who experiences this. Anything you can share wit me that would help me understand what it is like to be this unique you, would be much appreciated. If I have asked anything too personal or said in a way that inadvertently offends, please forgive me. I wish you the happiest of life. May all your days be filled with love and laughter. hugs, pat

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