Sometimes I Want to Die

But then I don't. To be honest I only have one reason to not die and keep going. One. And that is that I do not want to die in a girls body. I don't want my birthname written on my gravestone. I'd be a girl in everyones memory. Only the thought of it makes me feel... Continue Reading →

My Hormones are Killing Me

I hate this. I hate how I'm feeling every second of every day. The way I exist makes me not want to be in this world. I didn't ask to be born with an uterus. Its mere existence grosses me out and I just want to dig my fingers into that womb, that womb of a stranger, because... Continue Reading →

Patience & Misgendering

Getting misgendered is awful. It doesn't only give me emotional pain, but also physical. But yelling at those people who do that, doesn't help. And it's not okay, unless it was intentional, which it usually isn't. I tend to forget that changing what you're used to takes time. It's not easy for my surrounding to... Continue Reading →

I love you, Dad

Dear Dad, I know, I've never been an easy child. You went through so much with me, always accepted and loved me just the way I am. You didn't care what others thought, you just wanted me to be happy. And I am so incredibly grateful for that! But I feel like you forgot that.... Continue Reading →

Respect my Name

sister: Why do you still like this? I thought you want to be a boy. me: What are you talking about? I can like what I want. sister: But you want to be a boy. me: I am a boy. sister: *sneers* no, ⌈birthname⌋ you're a girl! me: I've never been a girl... And that's not my... Continue Reading →

I Don’t Dare Using The Restroom

Today I was in a restaurant with my Dad and sister. It was a casual evening. Until I had to use the restroom. Well. I needed to but didn't. Now this might sound silly to most people, since it's just a toilet. Some of you will think now: "Oh, yes. I know that! They're so dirty!" But that's not the... Continue Reading →

Gender Dysphoria

What is Gender Dysphoria and what does it feel like? ⌈This might trigger those suffering from dysphoria⌋ Gender dysphoria (formerly Gender Identity Disorder) is defined by strong, persistent feelings of identification with the opposite gender and discomfort with one's own assigned sex that results in significant distress or impairment. — There's different types of dysphoria and not... Continue Reading →

Rape Culture

⌈Trigger-Warning for victims of sexual assault/rape/non-consensual⌋ I don't know a single woman who wasn't sexually harassed, yet. Not a single one who did not get catcalled. Not one who doesn't feel the need to say more than "no" to sex, because a sick stomach is more of an excuse than simply not wanting to have intercourse. A... Continue Reading →

I’m not an IT

I am not an it. I am not an object. I have a pulse. I have a beating heart. I am made of stardust. I am made up of skin and bones. and you still call me an it. -Anonymous  I've talked to my dad, who keeps misgendering me, and I asked him to at least try to... Continue Reading →

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